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“Has your move abroad made you feel like you’re “behind with your personal & professional life”? Here’s how to get ahead instead.

Has your move abroad just made you feel like you’ve taken 10 huge steps backwards with your entire life, and just when you were almost at the top of your game?! This was certainly the case with me, especially in terms of my career.  I went from being a very successful real estate agent to suddenly having no job at all, when I first moved abroad to be with my boyfriend in Paris.  Letting go of my career, job status and financial independence was one of the hardest challenges I’ve ever had to overcome, (especially as I’d also allowed my job title to define who I was, but more on that later on a separate blog post).

My problem was that I’d occasionally allowed myself to be sucked into societies way of thinking, believing that we were all on some kind of time frame with life. That by a certain age “you should have a well established career, “stepped onto the property ladder” “found your ideal partner and gotten married” and finally had children” etc, You know, the usual expectations that some of our family and friends have upon us and if we don’t deliver we’re automatically judged.  This can lead many of us into living a life that’s not really owned by us, as we’re trying to fit and accomplish what everyone else wants or expects us to have and be.  However if we’re brave and strong enough to go out there and pursue our dreams and choose to live our life outside the box as such, then we’re equally judged and worse off as we’re seen as a total outsider, which can in turn make us feel very alone and isolated.

So you can imagine that my bold drastic move abroad had definitely shaken up my planned path to a successful career.  I had to stop myself from listening to what everyone else thought and let go of their judgements.  This was fairly easy because the real truth and hardness of it all, was that I had to let go of the judgement that I had against myself.  This was all coming from inside my own head with constant negative thinking and inner chit chat I’d often have with myself, which wasn’t at all serving me and which I knew I needed to get a grip over. How I did that I’ll share a tiny piece with you now.


The first most important thing for you to do right now if you are feeling like you’re “behind with life” in any such way, is to let go of the pressure, judgments and expectations that you and anyone else are putting upon yourself. Now I know this is easier said than done so I’d like to share with you a quick technique to help you out here.

Now before we start I need you to take your eyes off the screen for a moment and take a couple of deep breaths – do this now please so that you can have a little pause here and truly feel the benefit of this technique working. When you’re ready come back and read on:


Step 1 – A little Visualisation.

“Imagine your future self looking radiantly well, strong, confident and happy as she/ he is coming back to greet you right now. She/ he is telling you to let go of the worry now because you are exactly where you’re meant to be right now in this lifetime. She/ he is telling you that there’s no right or wrong place to be with your life and that everything is perfectly enough for you right at this moment. She/ he is telling you to be rest assured that it will all work out in the end no matter what. Just imagine hearing these words and notice how you feel right this minute…Do you instantly feel relieved, lighter and calmer?” Great.


Step 2 – Next step is to ACCEPT where you are right now with your life both on a personal and professional level and understand that it is exactly where you’re meant to be. Forgive yourself for having put all this pressure on yourself to constantly achieve and make a promise to yourself to take it easy on yourself from now on, and vow to praise yourself for each of your achievements (no matter how small).


Step 3 – Be Rest Assured – Know that there’s no right or wrong way to live our life, as long as we’re living in our true essence, then I say, we’re the ones who are ahead in life because we’ve got this awareness and therefore the choice of making our life the way we want it to be, and not how society tells us it “should be”.


Step 4 – Finally have trust and faith in the universe, god, or power higher than yourself and know that it always has your best interests at heart and will guide you in whatever direction you are to be guided in, but only if you allow it by putting yourself in the present moment.


I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog post and I’d like to now ask you…


“What are your experiences of going against the crowd as such? And How did you manage this?” Please feel free to share your story and any tips you may have to help others by leaving a comment below.


Love & Light as always


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Finding your sanctuary as an Expat, and why having one is vital for your sanity.

When settling into your new life as an expat, you’re probably running at 100mph with your 101 to do’s. During this and other moments of your expatriate life, things will be pretty full on and can seem very overwhelming for you to handle all at once. Therefore I cannot highly recommend enough, that you find your very own personal sanctuary, and that’s not to include your house btw 🙂 Why?  Well because every once and a while you’ll need this place to help you to escape the stresses of living abroad.  You need a place where you can re-connect with yourself and your hear,t so that you can take a time out to re-think, reflect and gain the clarity you need.  Being grounded and connected to oneself allows you to make the best decisions you need to make for your better interest.


One of my very first sanctuaries that I found, where I’m currently living, in Milan, was one that I naturally came across at a nearby park. It’s called Arco Della Pace (Arch of Peace) and with no pun  intended funnily enough, this place does bring me a whole loada peace instantly whenever I visit. Now, although sometimes it gets rather busy with tourists, it doesn’t put me off or stop me from visiting, because I don’t know what it is but I just to hold a very special connection with this place. 🙂

This place isn’t really about noticing how beautiful the arch is, but for me more about the environment in which this arch sits in that feels magical to me.  There’s just something…… je ne c’est pas????… in the air!< oh yeah I do know what it is…it’s peace and tranquility thats in the air and I just love to sit there for a wee moment and breath it all in. 🙂 That my friend makes me feel all calm and grounded.  The fighter hero’s on the horses at the top of the arch make me also feel quite powerful and remind me of my inner strength and how I can handle whatever I’m facing in any of my personal challenging moments.

Here’s the history of Arco Della Pace in 20 seconds if you’re interested  – (taken from Livia Hengel from theculturetrip.com)

The neoclassical Arco della Pace, or “Arch of Peace”, is a triumphant arch located at Porta Sempione, one of Milan’s many city gates. The arch was built under Napoleon’s rule of the short-lived Italian Republic (1802–1805) to echo the Arc du Triomphe in Paris. The arch, in fact, is built at the start of Corso Sempione, a road that connects Milan to Paris along the Simplon Pass, with the intention that Napoleon would pass through it on his way into the Italian city.

So there you go! Wow!

OK, so here’s 3 steps to finding your sanctuary too.

  • Have a think about all the places that you loved to hang out in back home or at your last location and try to find something similar to that in your new foreign country/city. Whether it’s walking within nature, a special park, or sitting in a particular coffee shop, pick a place or two that really connects with your heart – you’ll know instantly because it just feels different to all the other places and you feel a warm connection to this spot, so just trust that, that’s the one you pick as your sanctuary.


  • There’s a NO ENTRY POLICY to friends, family or loved one’s – This is purely for your pleasure only. This means that only you can go but only if you’re BY YOURSELF!! Yup no wimping out and getting all insecure with me on this one. If the thought of going somewhere alone totally daunts you then you totally need to do this even more so and conquer that fear of being judged or lonely or whatever else comes up for you. Rest assured once you start spending some quality you time alone you’ll feel more confident and empowered.


  • Make a promise to yourself that you’ll go and hang out at your sanctuary as often as possible. Try to commit to going at least once a week and if that’s not doable then definitely whenever you’re having an off day, need to escape or have your instincts tell you so. Listen to your gut feeling when it’s telling you that it’s about time you paid a visit to your sanctuary!!


If for whatever crazy reason you are unable to find such a place that really resonates for you, then simply close your eyes and imagine one up inside your head. Go full out with using your imagination and visualising your sanctuary the way you would want it to be. If you love being in the mountains, by the beach or in the countryside paint the picture inside your minds eye as perfect as you’d want it to be and take some time out to sit back and hang out there for as long as your need.


Now it’s over to you – good luck in finding your sanctuary, and when you do please come back here and share with me where it is, how it affects you and how it’s impacted your well-being with your life as an expat.

If you already have your very own sanctuary place, let us know about how you found it and how it serves you.

With love and light